From the above quote, I truly understands what it means today. And it's really very very true. You may put in a lot of effort in whatever you do, be it your project or relationship, but at the end of it, what you will get back normally is never that you had expected.


Never to have false hopes, as said, the higher you stand, the more pain you will get when you fall. The higher your false hopes are, the more painful your heart will get. I had the chance to experience this in my life up till today, never did I expect that the impact of the fall to be so huge.

Just when everything seems to be working out fine, just a word, a truth, can tear down everything and leave you devastated. I guess that's life? You must live in the reality always, but not in your own world, blast it out of the own world and get back to reality, as your life will not be as colorful as any fairytale stories.

When someone asks me, "Are you okay?" What I normally reply is, "Yes, I am. Don't worry. =D" But deep down in my heart, I'm not okay. I'm just trying to put on a strong front in front of my friends, I don't want them to be troubled over me, I don't want them to worry about me, I don't want to add on more burdens to what they already have. I've never always shared my troubles and problems with my friends around me, even with my closest ones. I always keep my problems bottled up, although I know that it's not a good way, but what else can I really do? I'm just not good at expressing myself, that's always been the problem for me.

Inferior. Yes I'm inferior. Because I have no good points in myself at all, I can only thinking of bad points like hot tempered, vulgar etc in myself. So what makes me stands out? I guess I'm just like any other ordinary boy out in the world. What makes me feel more and more inferior is because I've failed in relationship many many times. I lost confidence, started to have low self esteem of myself, and gradually, I might even forget how to love...

I hope I'll be feeling better when I'm back from Genting next week. Lastly, to end with a few songs which depicts my mood right now..